


Periods

by ChemicalCinderCat



Series: Beetlejuice Stories [7]
Category: Beetlejuice (TV 1989)
Genre: Beetlejuice is about to lose what little innocence he had left, Cramps, Education, F/M, Lydia has way too much fun explaining girl things to him, No BJ she is fine, Omg is Lydia dying??, Periods, eat all the icecream, guys don't understand, then curl in a ball and die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23205103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChemicalCinderCat/pseuds/ChemicalCinderCat
Summary: Lydia keeps saying it's her certain time of the month, but Beetlejuice doesn't understand what she means.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz
Series: Beetlejuice Stories [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721896
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60





	Periods

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this chapter talks about girl stuff. If that makes you uncomfortable, then don't read it.

"UUUUGggGggGgHhhhHhHH…." Lydia groaned. The teen was currently curled into a ball on her bed, clutching her stomach in pain. She was dying. She was dying, and the only thing that would ever make it stop was chocolate. Without it, she was doomed, right? There was no way something this painful wasn't deadly!  
Actually, there was.  
She wasn't really dying, she was just on her period. She had started the day before, and thank God it was a Saturday, because Lydia was sure that she wouldn't have survived school with how she currently felt. She hadn't talked to Beetlejuice in awhile, but at the moment that was the least of her worries. She honestly didn't feel like doing anything all day. She just wanted to drown herself in chocolate and tears.  
Suddenly the cravings were too much. She wanted- no, needed her chocolate, but it was all the way downstairs, and she knew if she got up she would just die. It was the worst dilemma of her entire life, and she almost started crying just thinking of having to choose.  
Suddenly, a solution occurred to her.  
"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She called. Almost immediately, her best friend appeared out of thin air.  
"Babes!" Beetlejuice exclaimed, excitedly (and loudly, much to Lydia's annoyance). "What took you so long?"  
"Shhhhhh!" Lydia complained, clutching her head in pain. She had a terrible period migraine. "You're being too loud!"  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Lyds. Is your head hurting?"  
"Yeah, can you go get something for me? I need the ibuprofen off of the top of the fridge, and the big box of chocolate hidden under the sink. My parents aren't home, so you won't have to worry about them."  
"Uhhhhhh...okay?" Beetlejuice said slowly, a little confused. "That's not what you called me for, though…. Right?"  
Lydia huffed. "Yes, it is, okay? Geez, can't you just go get it for me? Honestly!" She snapped.  
Beetlejuice was now very confused, but he obeyed, and flew off to get her things for her. Moments later, he was back with everything she asked for. Lydia accepted them happily, but then stopped suddenly. She looked up at him with anger.  
"...What did I do?" Beetlejuice asked, kind of scared of the teenage girl.  
"Isn't it obvious?? How am I supposed to take this pill without any water?" She yelled. Beetlejuice looked away, and then left to go and get her water without a word. Lydia felt bad for snapping, but she didn't say anything when he returned. She just took the pill in silence, before diving for the chocolate box and ripping it open, unwrapping one of the stupidly individually wrapped chocolate bars. Lydia immediately stuffed her mouth with chocolate, eating as fast as she could, and pissed that the individual wrappers were slowing her down.  
Suddenly Lydia stopped shoving chocolate down her throat to curl back into a ball. "OWWWWWWwwWwWwWwWwwww!!!" She groaned.  
"What, what is it? Are you okay? Wh-What should I do??" Beetlejuice asked, worried as he watched Lydia in pain.  
"Just shut up! You're giving me a migraine!'  
"I-I'm sorry, babes, I just don't know what to do? What's going on??"  
"Just...just go and get my ice cream out of the freezer!" Lydia exclaimed.  
"Uhh...Are you sure about that babes?" Beetlejuice asked, looking nervously at the piles of chocolate wrappers laying all over the room.  
"Yeah, why?" Lydia asked. She followed his gaze to the wrappers, and then let out a small "Oh". She turned away from him, and her shoulders started shaking.  
"Lyds, are you... crying?" Beetlejuice asked.  
Lydia looked at him with puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.  
"Are… are you saying I'm f-fat?" She asked, her voice shaking.  
"What? Wait, no, I wasn't, I just don't want you to get sick!"  
"No, you're right, I am fat! And I just ate all this chocolate!" Lydia cried. "Everyone is going to hate me, and I'll never get a boyfriend!" Suddenly she looked at Beetlejuice accusingly. "How could you call me that?! Do you know what you've done? Now I'll never have any confidence! You're the worst!!" All Beetlejuice could do was stare in shock as the short teen yelled at him. She got up and walked past him as she went to the kitchen, grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer, and started to eat it with a spoon straight out of the tub.  
"...Lyds, are you sure you're feeling well? You're eating the ice cream straight out of the tub…"  
Lydia looked up at him and glared. "Yeah?? Well, why don't you sue me then, BJ?"  
"You know what? I think I'm just going to go…" Beetlejuice said, turning to leave. Lydia jumped up and grabbed his sleeve.  
"No wait, please don't go! I'm sorry, I'm just... menstruating." She said, gulping nervously.  
"Menstralating?" Beetlejuice asked, confused.  
"No, menstruating." Lydia corrected. "You know… it's a certain time of the month?" Beetlejuice just looked at her blankly.  
"Um...I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Babes."  
"Beetlejuice! I'm on my period!" Lydia shouted, expecting him to get embarrassed, or disgusted, or something. Instead, he just stared at her.  
"... You're on what?" He asked, still not understanding. "Wait, you're not on drugs, are you? You're better than that, Lyds, and if I've been a bad influence, I sor-"  
"What?? No!" Lydia sighed. "No, I'm not on drugs! Why would I be- Never mind. Anyways, you don't know what a period is?"  
"...No?"  
"Hmm…" Lydia thought for a second, holding the spoon in her mouth. Suddenly she pointed at him. "That's it! I know exactly what to do!" She exclaimed, before setting down the spoon and running into her bedroom. After digging around and searching through some drawers, she returned to the kitchen with a book in her hands. "You, uh, might wanna sit down before reading this, Beej." Lydia said as she handed him the book. He took it curiously and sat down across from where she sat, returning to her ice cream.  
Beetlejuice read the title of the book with interest, oblivious to the fact that this marked the end of his manly innocence.  
Lydia studied Beetlejuice's facial expressions as he read through the book. He wasn't reading every detail, but she could tell he got the main idea as he flipped through it.  
After a few minutes, Beetlejuice put the book down. He slowly turned to look at Lydia with wide eyes and a look of shock. Suddenly he disappeared from the chair he was sitting in and reappeared by her side. He put his arm on her shoulder, and looked her straight in the eyes.  
"...Lyds, is this a joke?"  
"What?" Lydia was not expecting this reaction. "...No, it's not a joke, or a prank. It's just a part of science, of life."  
Beetlejuice grimaced. "So...you actually go through this? For a week? Every single month?! How are you still alive? W-Wh...What...How is this even fair? I…" Beetlejuice tried to think of a solution. Suddenly it dawned on him. "That's it! Why didn't I think of this sooner?? I can help you!" He suddenly grabbed Lydia's arm.  
"Um...Beetlejuice? What are you doing?"  
"Just stay still." Beetlejuice instructed. "I can use my juice to take away your pain, and make your period-thingy go away!"  
Lydia jumped up and yanked her arm away from him. "No! Don't touch me!" Beetlejuice was even more shocked.  
"Babes, it's okay. I would never hurt you. You know that, right?" Beetlejuice asked, slowly reaching his arm out to her to calm her down.  
"No, yeah, I know. But you don't understand, as much as my period sucks, without it I wouldn't be able to have children." Lydia looked at the ground. "I know you mean well, but if you got rid of my period, I might not be able to have a baby in the future… And I don't wanna take any chances."  
"...Oh." Beetlejuice said. "Don't worry, Babes, I won't mess with your ucerus. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. And I promise from here on out, I'll do whatever I can to help your period be easier " He opened his arms, and Lydia smiled and stepped forward into his hug.  
"Thanks, Beetlejuice....  
"...Did you mean uterus?"


End file.
